Chapter 9: The Sexual Revolution

Healthy Heterosexuality is not the goal of modern Feminism.

The Dark Ages

Also known as the 1950’s (which are also known – to Conservatives – as “the good old days”). Actually, for a long time before that. A looong time. You pretty much have to go back to before Monotheism to find a time when human sexuality was not repressed. (Read Joseph Campbell’s accounts of the pagan sex cults; whew, our ancestors did a lotta humpin’! But I digress…)

The Pill

The birth control pill (so impactful it is known simply as “The Pill”, despite the millions of types of pills in our society) was approved for married women in some states in 1960; every year after that, the number of women who could get it – both legally and illegally – increased every year until every adult and most teens get could get on it by the early seventies. This absolutely caused the Sexual Revolution, the way that it actually happened, when it actually happened (despite the protestations of some). Yes, there were psycho-social changes happening already, and something would have happened, but The Pill had a huge effect on America and the world.

(The Pill has been reformulated a few times since, and today is very safe and very effective – if taken as prescribed – for women ages 18 – 30.)

[Note: The Pill does increase the copper level in the body; therefore, any woman on The Pill should strictly avoid the high-copper foods (basically, oysters and liver) and do not take any amount of supplemental copper. Also, get at least one gram (1,000 mg) of Vitamin C and at least 15 mg of zinc per day. A B-complex would probably be a good idea.]

Women – and men – were now free to enjoy seks (even hundreds of times) with a few partners before marriage, with very low risk of pregnancy. This unleashed a torrent of sexual energy that had been pent up for thousands of years. We are still trying to recover. The chaos is seen as an opportunity by those who would hijack it.

The Puritans

The Puritans had never been supportive of healthy heterosexuality; they had always viewed human sexuality as a wild, almost sinister, force – something to be controlled at all costs. The Sexual Revolution (aka “Hey, everybody, free pussy!”) was intensely in conflict with the Puritanical worldview, which necessarily included a scarcity mentality. The Puritanical women felt violated by this development.

The First Wave

The first wave of Feminism had been about getting women to be recognized and treated as fully human in everyday life and under the law. This was good; I, as most people today, accept that as a legitimate goal. (As most young women today accept, it has largely been achieved.)

The Second Wave

In reaction to the free pussy… er, I mean, the Sexual Revolution, the Puritanical women stepped up their attack by calling themselves Feminists for the first time. This opened the door to…

The Lesbians

Lesbians hate when any woman does anything to please any man. Some of the Puritan women calling themselves Feminists for the first time gave the lesbians an opportunity, and they joined forces against their common enemy: the recently unleashed, raw, natural and good human sexual energy. Together, they hijacked Feminism and since 1965 it has been a vicious and deliberate assault on heterosexuality; what Feminism used to be – women’s rights – served (and continues to serve) as a convenient cover.

The Techniques of Psychological Warfare

Modern Feminism utilizes several techniques of psychological warfare. We can group them into two main categories: “word games”, and “denying science.”

Word Games:

Ex. 1) Using the word “sexism” to refer to what is actually heterosexuality, or “sexist” to refer to what is a man being heterosexual.

Ex. 2) Using the word “rape” to refer to both actual rape, and healthy heterosexual sex. Rape is wrong, and should be punished (and not just with a “slap on the wrist.”) However, let’s be clear about what rape is.  A woman wanting a man, getting drunk (because she knows it will lower her inhibitions), having sex with him, then feeling bad about it later because he didn’t call or text is not rape.

Ex. 3) Words like “hetero-normative” and “cis-gender” are weapons of psychological warfare. Heterosexuality is natural and good and should be approved and promoted by society.

Denying Science:

The different chromosomes – XX and XY – produce very different hormones from in utero on throughout the rest of life, and this affects the structure and wiring of the developing brain (see Ch. 1: The Man, and Ch. 2: The Woman). Feminism has long denied all this, insisting that “culture” is all (again using word games, calling gender roles “traditional” to avoid acknowledging the basis in biology).

Hetero” is from the Greek meaning “different.” Yes, men and women are different. It is nature and nurture; humans, having consciousness and being social animals, must be taught the gender roles that are natural. There is no contradiction there, and it does not mean you are free to teach boys to be girls or vice versa. Teaching boys to be boyish and girls to be girly is meeting their needs. Should an individual that shows a preference for the “other” way of being be punished or abused? Of course not! But what’s best for the vast majority of boys is to embrace the man’s role, and what’s best for the vast majority of girls is to embrace the woman’s role. This is not “sexist”, and it is not “oppression.”

The Gender Bending

Feminism has been trying to get women to reject the female role and embrace the male role for over 40 years now. The results have been disastrous (for men, for women, and for society). Corporate America loved the huge influx of job-seekers, of course; it drove down wages (hidden with inflation), thereby putting the employers in a more privileged position.

Feminism also teaches women (and men) that men should value them for being sarcastic, opinionated, and for their accomplishments. No, men are not women. Those are manly qualities, and we don’t have the attraction reaction to them, nor should we.

The Feminist Mistake and The Biological Clock

In 1963, Betty Friedan released her book The Feminine Mystique. Friedan had been an activist for many years by that point; she was also a woman “of privilege”, living in a large house with several servants. That’s how she was able to “have it all”: being a wife, a mother, and having a career. The vast majority of women are not in that financial position. The only way they could “have it all” would be to enslave someone.

So, since most women have to choose one or the other at a time, Feminism teaches them to put off marriage and children in favor of pursuing a career (mocking women who don’t as pursuing an “MRS” degree). This is not what’s best for most women – or their children – because the 20’s are the biologically best time to be getting pregnant and giving birth. Most women’s fertility starts to decrease after age 30, and decreases every year after that; if you spend all your 20’s going to college and then establishing your career, you are acting like a man. It’s OK for men to do that – we don’t get pregnant.

For Jennifer Aniston to say at age 40 she still wants to have kids “someday” was C-R-A-Z-Y.

Sex-Positive Feminism

Just some promiscuous women who want all the benefits of being promiscuous and all the benefits of not being promiscuous, without the costs of either.

Well, I’d like to build a time machine so I could have sex with Katy Perry before she did it with that skizzbag Russell Brand… buuut it’s probably not going to happen. Too bad, so sad.

The Patriarchy… NOT!

You thought we were done with the techniques of psychological warfare – but wait, there’s more!

Feminism points to examples of individual psychopaths abusing women, says “See! The Patriarchy”, and uses that as an excuse to reject heterosexuality. (see Ch. 4: The Psychopath.)

Oh, The Irony

Ironically enough, Feminism is itself psychopathic. Just as the psychopath feels entitled to all the benefits of being a good person without having to actually be one, so Feminism teaches women that they are entitled to all the benefits of heterosexuality without having to do anything to get them. Can you resist the psychopathic training, my fellow humans?

Oh, The Humanity!

Should all humans – White, Black, and Asian; rich and poor; men, women, and children – be treated as fully human [Note: not as “the same”] in everyday life and under the law? Well, there’s already a word for that. It’s called… Humanism.

The Fish Needs A Bicycle

The Man gives The Woman what she values most, which is his love; the woman gives the man what he values most, her power. If The Man gives his love for any amount of time, and then at some point stops giving it, then she should “stop giving away her power.” If The Man gives her his love before she gives him her power, she will not be able to feel respect for him, and then she will not be able to feel attraction for him.


If The Woman gives The Man both her power and her love – hey, that’s great. But if she gives her love but not her power, that relationship is doomed.

But Feminism drops all of this context, and tells women “Stop giving away your power”, as an absolute. This makes it an attack on healthy heterosexuality.

The Number

There are some who want you to believe that your total number of lifetime sex partners is “just a number”, and doesn’t matter. Oh, yes, it does.

A woman who has a large number – especially at a young age – will be considered by most men as less likely to remain faithful if he marries her (he will be unconfident about paternity, among other things). Most men will consider a woman who has been fucked by more than 10 guys a slut. You may not consider this fair, but you don’t get to choose that for men. A woman who had her fun when she was younger and is now ready to settle down – the whole “reformed slut” thing – is really not flying with an increasing number of men these days. Young women who do not yet have a high number need to be told that every increase in her number shrinks the pool of good men willing to marry her.

There is also a hormonal issue involved. Each time The Woman makes the oxytocin bond, and then breaks it, her ability to bond again weakens just a little (men are also affected by this, but not quite to the same degree). On the other hand, if you only have sex with one person your entire life, that’s an aspect of self that you do not grow. Life is risky, and real adult relationships are (emotionally) risky; wanting only successes is… well, childish.

So, what is the ideal number of lifetime sex partners for most people? Considering all of the above, something more than one, but less than 10.

So, to Review…

Human Rights for Women = Good.

The Sexual Revolution = Good.

Feminism = Evil.

See the difference?

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Chapter 8: The Obesity Epidemic

Who doesn’t know what that most Americans are fat? According to the CDC, one third of U.S. Adults are “overweight”, and another third are “obese.” But what is the cause? Conventional wisdom says it’s “overeating,” and we are advised to cut our calories (primarily by eating “low-fat”).

The Lie

The USDA says that the average American’s daily food consumption increased by 523 calories from 1970 to 2003: 216 was from “fats and oils,” which is 41%; 188 was from grains, which is 36%; 76 was from “sugars and sweeteners,” which is 15%; a whopping 24 calories from “meat, eggs, and nuts” all put together, which is 4%; fruits and veggies together equaled 30 calories, which is 6%. (It adds up to 102% because I rounded some fractions of a percent for simplicity.)

So, “fats and oils” are 41%, but grains and sugar together add up to 50% of the increase in calories. Even putting fats and oils with meat, eggs and nuts only totals 45% of the added calories; but if we add up all the “carbs” – the grains, sugar, fruits, and vegetables – they are responsible for 55% of the “overeating.”

The Truth

The nasty little secret of carbs (yes, even the vaunted “whole grains”) is that when you eat them, your digestive system breaks them down into what they’re made of: sugar.

The whole “a calorie is a calorie is a calorie” crowd keeps ignoring the human body’s different hormonal responses to different kinds of food. That’s not scientific (although it is good for business). The authorities try to evade this factor by referring to “fat and sugar” added to packaged and restaurant food, as though they are equally bad for us. Without the sugar (aka “carbs”), however, the fat doesn’t harm us. Not being able to grasp the science (apparently), the low cal / low fat people deride the science as “magic.”

The Book

In 2007, Gary Taubes came out with Good Calories, Bad Calories (The Diet Delusion in the UK), which is a science book not a diet book. In it, he describes how some Baby Boomers got back from their stints in the Peace Corps in Third World countries – where they had seen many starving people – and looked around at the abundance of meat, eggs, milk, and butter in Americans’ diets. They concluded they could end World Hunger by sending out fruits, vegetables, and grains; but Americans’ eating habits required too much of the plant food production (primarily the grains) to go to feed the animals we then eat. So, they started demonizing animal food. The low-fat diet recommendation was based on politics, not science (today, of course, its a huge financial issue).

GCBC says a whole lot more than that, of course. It’s 460 pages of documentation of how not only does the high-grain / low-fat diet make most people fat and sick, but that the evidence proved it the entire time the authorities were telling us “we know” that fat makes us fat, that cholestrol causes heart disease, and to eat more grains. Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Richard Rhodes called it “Easily the most important book on diet and health to be published in the past one hundred years.” Although I do not have a Pulitzer (yet), I agree.

The Zucker Rat

This is a strain of rat that is a result of selective breeding; it is genetically predisposed to become obese. You can reduce the daily calories of the Zucker rat, and reduce them again, and reduce them again, until the rat dies of starvation. But it’s still obese. This does not prove that the obesity epidemic is genetic. I also know, as Dr. Mike Eades put it, that rats are not “furry little humans.” However, it does show that, in mammals, obesity is not a calorie issue, but a hormonal issue.

So, the next time someone tries to tell you “we know” that you have to go low-cal / low-fat, or describes such as “a healthy diet”, just silently mentalize: FAT DEAD RAT.

The REASON “Diets Don’t Work”

The phrase “Diets don’t work” has become popular the last several years; most people who have tried various diets resonated with this sentiment. But why don’t they work?

Almost all diets since the late 70’s have been low-fat / low-calorie diets. If you stick to a low-fat diet for long enough for it to “work” (theoretically), your body stops making fat-burning enzymes; then, your brain reads this as a time of famine and shuts down your metabolism. Dieters call this “hitting a plateau.”

The 80 / 20 Rule

It appears that about 20% of the population (ectomorphs / hard-gainers / naturally skinny people) can eat a high-carb / low-fat diet and remain both skinny and highly functional; the rest of us need to eat a much lower-carb / higher-fat diet. (Whether or not the ectomorphic 20% could be healthy on the low-carb diet remains to be properly investigated.)

The Medical Business

The Medical Business is not a “health-care system.” Even though the evidence has always proven that the high-grain / low-fat diet makes most people fat and sick, most Medical Doctors continue to recommend exactly that diet to this very day. Then, when you “present” with the various symptoms of your diseased state, the doctor says, “You’re going to have to take this pill every day for the rest of your life.” Coincidence?

The Plan

First of all, the term “weight-loss” is a serious problem; many pronouncements on the efficacy of different diets will claim that the same amount of weight was lost by the average person in both experimental groups. But did they lose fat, or muscle, or something else that has weight?

What you want is to lose fat; but wait, not necessarily. It is possible to be underweight (especially if you are a teenage model). So, what you really want is to get your bodyfat percentage into the healthy range (10 – 15% for men, 15 – 20% for women).

You especially need to reduce any excess belly fat. Intra-abdominal fat produces inflammatory cytokines, which increases your probability of developing various disease-states, including – but not limited to – heart disease, liver disease, and type 2 diabetes (e.g. see RANTES (Regulated on Activation, Normal T Cell Expressed and Secreted), Inflammation, Obesity, and the Metabolic Syndrome by Christian M. Matter, MD; Christoph Handschin, PhD). How do you know if it’s excess? Well, certainly your circumference at the waist should be smaller than at the hips.

The media likes to pretend there is some exercise, or way of exercising, or amount of exercise you can do that will “melt off the pounds”; this is a proven lie. Reducing your body-fat percentage is primarily about diet, and that is mostly about (pretty severely) restricting grains and sugar. However, there is some exercising involved.

Food

Low-carb: The Institute of Medicine (a sub-unit of the National Academy of Sciences) says that all adults and children need 100-120 grams of carbohydrate per day to provide the brain with glucose (they recommend 130 grams per day to provide a “margin for error” to make sure your brain has enough glucose, but your body can make glucose from protein if necessary). Even 120 grams per day would be half as much as the average American gets (or less). This is not “ketogenic”, not “Atkins.”

As indicated above, it is the grains and sugar that must be targeted for reduction. One serving of veggie and/or fruit per meal would be fine. Fruit should be eaten whole and raw (except tomato, which should be ground into a paste and cooked); vegetables should be whole and cooked (except the green leafy ones, which can be eaten raw).

The healthy fats for humans are (organic) animal fat, fruit fat, and nut fat. All other fats must be strictly limited (and eliminated if possible). All foods really should be organic, but esp. animal fat, because the pollution is in the fat (this is why the animal food, which humans thrived on for all of history until the 20th century, “suddenly” became problematic). Nuts should be dry-roasted, not cooked in oil.

Examples:

Man: 50 grams carbohydrate, 50 grams protein, 50 grams fat x breakfast, lunch and dinner = 2550 calories.

Woman: 40 grams carbohydrate, 40 grams protein, 40 grams fat x breakfast, lunch and dinner = 2040 calories.

Carb-cycling: You need glycogen (the storage form of sugar in your muscles) to power a workout (see below), and this is one of the complaints with low-carb diets. Although the diet I have described is not as low-carb as Atkins or Protein Power, it can still be advantageous to “carb up” before a weight-lifting session.

An extra 50 or so grams of carbohydrate before the gym should be enough to get you a good lift; an extra 50 grams of protein in the 24 hours after you lift will help you recover (recovery’s where you make your gains).

Intermittent Fasting (IF)

Let’s say you get up at 7am, start eating breakfast at 8am, go to school or work, have lunch at lunch-time, then have to run some errands, then make dinner. You had to have a small breakfast so you weren’t late, and a small lunch (lunch “hour”? That’s a cruel joke, huh?), so you need a pretty big dinner. It takes you an hour to eat it, so you don’t get done until 8pm. See how easy it is for your “feeding window” to go 12 hours? In fact, it could easily go longer.

Studies of restricting animals’ feeding window – but not daily calories – indicated the same benefits as caloric restriction (CR). Then, a study on Muslims during Ramadan (no food dawn to dusk for a month) found the same thing in humans: the same improvements in blood markers as CR, without reducing total daily calorie intake (and they were eating at night – not the best time to eat / screws up sleep).

Four benefits of restricting your feeding window:

  • Reduced inflammation
  • Increased insulin sensitivity
  • Improved leptin signaling
  • Give your digestive system a rest

Start by simply restricting your feeding window to 12 hours a day for one week. Then restrict it to 11 hours each day for the second week. Once you’ve achieved that, try going down to 10 hours each day.

Remember, this is IF, not CR. If you are “skipping meals” or consuming significantly fewer calories than you would if you weren’t IF’ing, you’re doing it wrong. You’re still going to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner (no snacks) – although maybe not at the same times as other people. And, of course, you still need to get all your nutrients, macro- and micro-; it’s not gonna work if you scarf a ton of junk food.

Exercise

Weight-lifting: If you haven’t yet, learn how to lift weights safely and effectively; there are many sources of information for this. Then begin a progressive weight-lifting program; start with light weight, maybe 5 or 10 lb dumbells, and progress slowly. Utilize only compound movements (involving more than one joint); you are not the next “Ah-nold.”

No more than 2 times per week, and never two days in a row. No exercise the day after you lift weights (recovery’s where you make your gains). One hour one day a week can be enough.

Cardio: Some have opined in recent years that cardio is unnecessary, and for fat-burning that’s true. However, the human digestive system needs a certain amount of walking to function properly. Also, pooping is one of your body’s main detoxification pathways; if the food backs up in the intestines, then the toxins back up into all the tissues of your body. Walking also pumps the lymph fluid through the lymph nodes. That is essential for your immune system, and the lymph has no pump of its own.

15 minutes (if hilly terrain), 20 minutes (if flat land), 2 x per week, is minimum for health.

Rest: have at least one, preferably two, days of rest per week.

The Promise of Sleep

William Dement, M.D., Ph.D., the founder of the world’s first sleep lab, wrote a great book that I recommend to everyone called The Promise of Sleep. In it, he documents the myriad mental and physical health problems of chronic sleep deprivation (including a higher probability of increase in bodyfat percentage).

The book Lights Out: Sleep, Sugar and Survival, by T.S. Wiley makes an excellent supplement to Dement. Most people need 8 hours per night in the Summer, 9 hours per night Spring and Fall, and 10 hours per night in the Winter. America is not “magically delicious”; reality does exist here, you cannot ignore your needs without consequence.

Vitamins and Minerals

There are always headlines on magazines like “Vitamins – which ones do you really need?” The answer is… ALL OF THEM, DUMBASS. That’s why they’re called vitamins – organic substances you need in small amounts that your body can’t make. The RDA should be considered a minimum for most vitamins and minerals; some you need more that the RDA, some many times more. The RDA for copper is good; almost no-one needs more than that.

Most Americans are deficient in multiple vitamins and minerals; however, if we could correct just the five most common, we could hugely increase health and decrease “health care” costs.

The Big Five

Vitamin C: Every adult needs at least a gram per day. See www.doctoryourself.com and www.vitamincfoundation.org.

Vitamin D: Every adult needs at least 1000 IU’s per day. The ideal blood level of 25 (OH) D is 50 ng/mL. Many people will need 5000 IU per day to hit that blood level; some will need 8-10,000 IU per day to achieve the blood level of 50.

Vitamin” D is “technically” not a vitamin, because you can make it. Anywhere north of the southernmost row of states of the continental U.S., UV B to make vitamin D is available only between 10am and 2pm in Summer, and between 11am and 1pm Spring and Fall (none in Winter). You need 15-20 minutes on bare skin without sunscreen within that window; avoid the sun the rest of the time (outside that window, you can get enough UV A to get melanoma without getting any UV B to make vitamin D).

If you take a pill, it should be liquid inside a gelcap, and D3 (cholecalciferol) not D2 (ergocalciferol). There was no amount of ergocalciferol in any human body before the 20th century.

See The Vitamin D Council.

Magnesium: According to the NIH, in addition to being essential for bone health, “Magnesium is needed for more than 300 biochemical reactions in the body.” The RDA is about 300mg for women and 400mg for men (and most Americans are not even getting this much). However, you should get calcium and magnesium in a 2:1 ratio; so, if you are getting 1000mg of calcium per day, shouldn’t you get 500mg magnesium per day? Most people – especially women – have gotten the message about calcium, but are still deficient in the mag.

Calcium is constricting, whereas magnesium is relaxing – and you can only absorb so much of the two at one time; so maybe best to take cal separate from mag, with mag in the evening before bed?

Iodine: This is one of the two components of thyroid hormone (the other being the amino acid tyrosine), but you need iodine for a whole lot more than that. It turns out there are iodine receptors throughout the body (and women need just as much as men despite the smaller body because of a large number of iodine receptors in the breasts).

The RDA of 150mcg should be considered bare bones minimum, with one to one and a half mg probably being ideal for most. Japanese people living in Japan consume between 1 – 13 mg per day with no ill effect. See The Safe and Effective Implementation of Orthoiodosupplementation In Medical Practice by Guy E. Abraham, MD, and Iodine: Why You Need It, Why You Can’t Live Without It , Overcoming Thyroid Disorders by Dr. David Brownstein (some videos of him at http://www.vitamincfoundation.org/videos/#BROWNSTEIN).

Zinc: The RDA for adult females is only 8mg per day, for adult males only 11mg per day. Women should get 10-15mg per day, and men 30-50mg per day.

Men especially need zinc, because it is essential to the making of testosterone, and inhibits the conversion of T to estrogen. (Most men get no benefit from more than 50mg per day; DO NOT consume more than 100mg per day from food and supplements combined.)

The Ingredients

You have to get in the habit of checking what’s in your food. Look on the package, not for fat or sugar measurements – that table is very misleading – but for the part below that called “Ingredients”. If you see “partially hydrogenated vegetable oil” or “high fructose corn syrup”, don’t buy, don’t eat it.

[Health is a huge subject, and this is just an intro. I hope you will read (some of?) the books and click on the links, and above all try different things until you find what works for you (even if it goes wildly against what the authorities insist is true).

If someone wants to give me a contract to expand this chapter into an entire book of its own, I’m very open to that.]

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Chapter 7: The Score

We men have long used a 1-10 scale to rank women on their hotness / desirability. Women (and men) have lacked a comparable scale for men, because what women find attractive in men is a bit more complicated. Well, I figured it out for you, and here it is:

The Score for Men

  • Height
  • Intelligence
  • Shoulders
  • Waist
  • Some Muscle
  • Middle-Class Money or above
  • Social Proof / Fame
  • High-Status Job
  • Good Looks
  • Personal Behavior / Game

Each is worth one point out of ten. So what’s your score?

Is your score not high enough to get the girls you want? Or to keep The Woman you already got? Perhaps there is something you could do to raise your score? Perhaps a little more explanation is in order…

Height

In general, The Woman wants The Man to be taller than her. How much taller? Well, in our modern world, if you are only three inches taller than her, and she puts on three-inch heels, then suddenly you are seeing eye-to-eye; then she cannot look up into your eyes right before you kiss her (this sort of thing is important to girls). So, she probably wants you to be at least five inches taller than she is. As will be repeated several times throughout this chapter, once you hit the minimum threshold, additional height scores you no more points. (This also means that if you are tall enough to get that point with her, another man who’s taller than you won’t necessarily be more attractive to her.)

Intelligence

In order to score this point, The Man has to be above-average intelligence, and probably also slightly more intelligent than The Woman. (If she is IQ 99 or less, you simply need to be in the triple digits; if she has IQ of 120, you’d better be 125 or more.) Any more intelligence than that does not score you any additional points. (Contrary to what some believe, very high IQ does not hurt The Man’s chances with women; it is just a matter of confidence with women, and social skills – see Ch. 6: The Game.)

Shoulders

The Woman likes The Man to have broad shoulders. Some men are genetically gifted in this regard, others can work their shoulders in the gym to add a few inches of width.

Waist

Intra-abdominal fat produces inflammatory cytokines, increasing the probability of developing multiple disease states (see Ch. 8: The Obesity Epidemic). Thus, a girl or woman will prefer a small waist on a man (note that the combination of wide shoulders and small waist gives a man the fabled “V-taper”). This is hard-wired into her brain by evolution; no, our hunter-gatherer ancestors didn’t talk about inflammatory cytokines ’round the fire, but the small waist is consistent with evolutionary fitness.

(She may also wonder if she can wrap her cute little legs around your waist without discomfort…)

Some Muscle

Just like it sounds. Again, some is enough to score this point; more than the minimum is not worth any additional points.

Middle-Class Money or above

Many men – specifically, those who would really like to fuck hot chicks, but are not doing so – believe that you have to be “rich” to get hot girls. Not so. However, you certainly have to be able to support yourself*, and maybe her too. (She can pay for any child-specific expenses, even if her kids are your kids. House, car, furniture, appliances, monthly bills? On you. Baby needs a new pair of shoes? Mommy’s bank account.) So, how much are we talkin’?

According to G. William Domhoff in his article Power in America: Wealth, Income, and Power, the richest one percent have 30% of the nation’s wealth, the top 10% have 70%, and the top 20% have 85%. So, no matter how you slice it, more than 50% of U.S. citizens are poor. (And yet, over 90% of Americans “think of themselves as” middle-class; that’s how successful the psychological warfare has been.) To score this point, you are going to have to be well into the top half of Americans (maybe the top 1/4?), financially.

Going to college can stand in for this point temporarily, because it gives her a Reality-Based Expectation (RBE) that you will have middle-class money – or above – at some point in the not too distant future.

* Yeah, yeah. You know so many guys who have no job and no money who bang 9s and 10s all day. Whatev.

Social Proof / Fame

Humans are social animals. Well, it might be more accurate to say that women are social animals; without them to domesticate us, we men would probably just kill each other off (The Woman: “Why are you still single?”; The Man: “I’ve haven’t met The Woman who could domesticate me yet.”)

Friend-of-a-friend is what girls find ideal, but really you just need some social connection. She just doesn’t want you to be a complete stranger. The Man finds it kind of ridiculous how women are always talking about “axe-murderers”, but when’s the last time you saw a story on the news about a man getting raped or killed by a woman he met on Craig’s List? That shit does happen to women, and women know about it. There are no guarantees in life, but you can take steps to reduce the risk a significant amount. One of the most effective strategies women have found is to know someone in common, or even just have a social situation where you two get a chance to get to know a little bit about each other. If you are a repeat customer at a store, and there’s a cute girl who works there, try talking to her (but just for a few minutes each time, even if she’s not busy). Or, let’s say you like hiking, and you join a hiking group on meetup.com (or whatever activity you like doing), and you meet a girl that way. Over the course of a few months, she might feel like she knows you well enough to say yes when you ask her out.

Even if you don’t meet through some social connection, she’s still gonna want to know that you have friends, and that they aren’t losers. Dating / having sex with a woman at least as attractive as her also works.

Fame basically gives you social proof with strangers.

High-Status Job

Scientist, Professor, Pilot, Astronaut, Doctor, Lawyer. You get the drill.

Good Looks

We could almost call this category “Movie-star good looks” (or, more recently, hawt), but you don’t have to be perfect… just damn close! The women know who’s got it, and any man who’s got it knows he does too, because girls and women will just flat out tell him that he can have her. Over 90% of men are never gonna score this point.

Personal Behavior / Game

Rule #1: Treat yourself with respect.

Rule #2: Keep her guessing.

Rule #3: Don’t be mean.

That right there is enough “Game” to score most men this point in most situations. As covered in previous chapters, you don’t have to be a jerk or asshole, you just can’t be a doormat. You have to treat yourself with respect in order for her to feel respect for you, and she has to feel respect for you in order to feel attraction for you. You do not have to treat her with respect in order for her to feel attraction for you.

Subtract …

-1 for being more than ten years older.

The X Factor

Sometimes a girl just likes you, and neither you nor her know exactly why. Just go with it. Worth +1 (the maximum is still ten).

The Basics

If you don’t have hygeine and grooming down – at least in a basic way – then you’re not even on the board.

Confidence

“What about confidence?” you will say. Everybody knows that men who have a lot of confidence get the women. Well, as Harvard business professor Rosabeth Moss Kanter described in her book Confidence: Why Winning Streaks and Losing Streaks Begin and End, the feeling we call confidence is the result of the experience of winning. So, women use the presence of confidence as a marker for “a winner” in the game of life – which is why, if a man has supreme confidence, and she has sex with him, and then he turns out to be a lower value than she had assumed, she feels “betrayed.”

Hypergamy

Men are said to be polygamous (wanting to spread the seed around), and women monogamous (I’m not going to get into that whole subject; just read Sperm Wars and you will know that monogamy + cheating has been normal for most humans for most of human history).

It is very important to realize that women are also hyper-gamous. This does not necessarily mean, as some blogs have described it, that women all want the alpha male and will leave / cheat on a beta male if given an opportunity with an alpha. It does mean that The Woman wants to “marry up”; that is, she wants to marry / reproduce with a man who is one or two points higher than her.

You will have to be at least the same number as her, and one point higher would be ideal for a LTR (older guys, remember to subtract one if more than ten years). This has implications for the divorce rate. Just as some women “let themselves go” – i.e., gain weight – after they get married, so some men “let themselves go” after the wedding – i.e., he stops doing the behaviors that made her have the Attraction Reaction before the wedding (remember what David DeAngelo said about attraction not being a choice). If his number drops below hers, she’s not going to be able to choose to feel the same way she used to. I’m not trying to blame the men for all the divorce, I’m just saying… it happens. (OTOH, there’s also this.)

The MBTI

Being an N can give a man +1 with an N woman; it does not score any points with S women. (The maximum is still 10.)

Alphas, Betas, and Gammas… oh my!

To put this scoring system into terms familiar to the “Seduction Community” / Evo Psych crowd:

10 = Super Alpha

9 = Alpha

8 = Lesser Alpha

7 = Greater Beta

6 = Beta

5 = Gamma

4 or less = Omega

The Score for Women

Women and girls may not like this, but they already know it, really. The Woman’s score is based almost entirely on her looks. (Note: I did not say that a woman’s worth is entirely about her looks; this is about the Attraction Reaction, remember?)

  • sub-5: don’t even wanna think about it.
  • 5: not do-able, but maybe there’s something she could change to become do-able (typically, lose weight).
  • 6: do-able.
  • 7: desirable (cute, pretty).
  • 8: great (beautiful, hot)
  • 9: super-great (gorgeous, stunning)
  • 10: unbelievable

Ten

A 10 is so amazing that your brain literally cannot accept it. You look at her and you just cannot believe that someone who actually exists could be that good-looking. The instant you look away, your brain immediately refashions the image of her in your memory to make her slightly less amazing than she actually is, so that if you look at her again a few seconds later, you are again shocked by how amazing she is. This never stops happening, no matter how many times you do it – so long as she remains a 10.

There are very, very few actual tens on the planet at any given moment. Most women that most people call 10s are actually 9s (most “9s” are really 8s, etc.) Men do this to try to inflate – in their own minds and/or the minds of others – how hot have been the women they have gotten. Women rank other women higher than reality to make themselves feel better about… themselves, obviously.

Nine

Whew, the 9’s gonna seem like a let-down after that over-the-top stuff about the 10, huh? Not to worry, you have no chance with any 9’s anyway, dorkus. Errrr… what I meant to say is that the 9s are who you thought were 10s anyway, so no loss. There, now don’t you feel better?

To be a 9, a woman has to have a hot or beautiful face, and a great bod, and that something special, that sexiness, that … je ne sais quoi. Also known as tits; there are no flat-chested 9s. (Note: I am not advocating fake tits, or any other plastic surgery. I am not alone in preferring small & natural over big and fake.)

Eight

8s are like “normal” beautiful. That’s not a neg at all, beautiful is still great; just that this is about the best the vast majority of men could ever hope to do (even though the vast majority of men never will). Many professional models are here, and some of the better looking Hollywood actresses.

Seven

Minimum for attraction reaction. 7s are the normal cute or pretty girls of everyday life. Most women who are attractive are 7s, and most women can be a 7 from approximately 18-24.

Six

I wouldn’t put any effort into pursuing her, but if she offered herself to me I wouldn’t say no.

But Weight, there’s MOAR…

Sorry to drive this point home so hard, and I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad, and please don’t starve yourself. However, the truth is Good and the lie is Evil. Many 5s could become 6s, and many 6s could become 7s (and some 5s could become 7s) by one simple change: lose the extra pounds. I know you’re sick of hearing this, but we have to combat the “fat acceptance movement”.

The bad news is that you’ve been lied to your whole life. The good news is that the truth will set you free. Which brings us to …

Copyright © 2010 by Jeffrey Brauer. All rights reserved.

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Chapter 6: The Game

(This chapter’s a little short, but the links will keep you busy – but come back and finish my book!)

There had been books that purported to teach men how to pick up girls. They had inventive names like… How to Pick Up Girls. The advice was, however, not very useful for most men; they pretty much recommended doing what girls (and women) say they like. That didn’t work out too well.

The Dawn of a New Age

Richard Bandler and John Grinder, by studying family therapist Virginia Satir, hypnotherapist Milton Erickson, and others, developed Neuro-Linguistic Programming. NLP was a way of modeling brilliant and effective therapists to produce rapid psychological change, without having to understand how or why it worked.

A man – let’s call him Ross Jeffries, though that is not his real name – was of a good height and brains, but scrawny and less successful with the ladies than he would have liked. Upon discovering NLP, and finding it worked for some personal issues he had been having, he decided to try using it to “program” himself to become a real ladies man. OK, this is where it gets weird.

It worked.

Young Ross started getting cute girls and beautiful women to do sexual things with him – sometimes going “all the way” – and, sympathizing with the plight of… oh, let’s call them Average Frustrated Chumps, he created “Speed Seduction”.

The Internet

Well, there certainly was a market for this product. Young men (and some not so young) starting paying this “Ross Jeffries” to teach them how to transform themselves like he had done. One of these created a website for the students to trade reports of their results applying the teachings, called Alt.Seduction.Fast.

This was like the scientific method, but supercharged. In the scientific method, someone will create a hypothesis, test it, analyze the results, and report those results by publishing in a journal. Then, other scientists will read about it, and some will try to replicate the results. Then they report their findings. This process can take anywhere from months to years.

The seduction students would run through that process in a matter of days. One would say he’s going to try a pick-up technique, go to a club that night and try it, then post the report on the net that night or the next morning. The others would go out to the same club or different clubs and test it the very next night. Ideas developed rapidly.

This environment attracted intelligent, intellectual, well-read types like moths to a floodlight. Among them was a mildly successful magician who would become famous as just a word. He learned Jeffries’ system, tested it, found it wanting, and set about correcting what he saw as its faults.

The Mystery Man

Professional writer Neil Strauss, having worked for the New York Times and Rolling Stone, was assigned to do a piece of investigative journalism on this nascent community which was quietly thriving unbeknownst to mainstream society. An absurdly tall figure with a penchant for outlandish headgear, calling itself Mystery, informed Neil – now rechristened Style – that he would become the world’s greatest Pick-Up Artist.

The members of this community got so good at picking up hot women in bars and clubs that they began to challenge themselves. They started to wear unusual clothing and/or accessories. This only seemed to help them in their efforts, so that the “peacocking” got more and more outrageous in an effort to discover what amount of ridiculousness would finally ruin their chances with their targets. There was no limit. The techniques worked.

So they started to lie to women – not to talk themselves up, but to talk themselves down. For instance, one liked to say he drove an old rusty station wagon and worked as a garbage man – part time. Still got laid. This led to a belief in the community that Game could make all other factors irrelevant. This was very unfortunate, for once Game left home and ventured out into the world, things turned out to be very different than they had seemed.

The Charlatans

Having proof of concept, this new generation of PUAs started to teach their techniques. The first group of customers were men who had success in life but not with women; they would pay thousands of dollars for a weekend seminar, and it was well worth it to them.

However, as with everything, once a market has been established, the parasites come out of the woodwork: guys who were not interested in Game but only in the money that teaching Game might bring. However, there was a problem for the parasites; the actual masters of these techniques had the original demographic pretty much locked up. Businessmen and computer programmers with six figure incomes – smart guys – knew who was good, and word got around quickly. What to do?

The parasites needed to expand the market. So they started targeting men who were not as successful in their careers. These customers had a few thousand dollars, but they could spend it on either taking women out on dates, or on a weekend seminar to learn Game, but not both. So the parasites told the potential customers, “Don’t spend money on women; don’t take them out on dates; don’t even buy them drinks.”

Websites sprang up to prey on these desperate men. “Get laid with a beautiful woman tonight! We’ve got the secrets! My name is blah blah blah, and I studied guys who are naturally good with women for months. Only $349.99 – click here to download INSTANTLY!”

The Problem

Game as it is described in Style’s book The Game and on many blogs and other websites, and in PUA workshops, was developed in and is ideally suited for hitting on hotties in the club. Hence, all the stuff about “negging” to get through her “bitch shield” (a very sci-fi concept anyway) and overcoming the “anti-slut defense”; also, the way they use the concept of “social proof” is all about positioning yourself as a leader or a cool guy that everyone loves, because these are strangers. There is no social connection (see Ch. 7: The Score). Some of it translates to real life as it is lived by most men, some of it… not so much.

And none of it is about getting a girlfriend or making a relationship work. If you got her with pick-up techniques, then decide you wanna keep her, that transition can be real tricky. (Strauss, to his credit, describes both the charlatans and the relationship issue in his book.)

There is no reason to spend money you don’t have, when you can learn all you need to know for free. If the information in this book isn’t enough, here are some sites you can try.

The Interwebz

I have learned a lot from Roissy‘s blog (including the comment threads), but be warned – it’s not for the faint of heart.

UPDATE 9/11/11: Roissy is now Heartiste

Although she is a 50-something mother, I found Susan Walsh’s blog Hooking Up Smart to provide a really nice balance to Roissy. (now Heartiste)

Total noobs should maybe even start with http://www.succeedsocially.com/.

The Other Book

Sperm Wars by Robin Baker. I got my copy at my local Border’s. (The Woman will have sex with two men within a day or two of each other, so that their respective sperm can duke it out inside her body – and may the best man win.)

Copyright © 2010 by Jeffrey Brauer. All rights reserved.

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Chapter 4: The Psychopath

They are everyone, and they are no one.”

– Morpheus

The Matrix

The term “psychopath” gets thrown around a lot these days, maybe you have even used it yourself. But what does the word really mean? Well, some great science has been done over the past century on this subject, and while we don’t yet know everything, we do know a lot.

Psychopaths are people whose brain defect – usually inherited – makes them unable to feel they have done anything wrong. They are not psychotic; they know what they have done. They just can’t feel it was wrong.

Another way to put it is that there’s nothing a psychopath feels he’s not free to do. Therefore, because there are limits on our behavior (it’s called “civilization”), the psychopath is always seething with rage.

The Misconception

Movies and TV have given most people a false impression of what a psychopath is; the whole “Hannibal Lecter / Silence of the Lambs” thing.

In reality, most psychopaths are not serial killers or even in prison. They are doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers… every kind of person. Rich and poor; young and old; Black, White, and Asian. They are Conservative and Liberal; Democrat and Republican; Capitalist and Communist. Every category, every place, every group has some.

The Sociopath

Many people are uncomfortable with the term psychopath; it sounds so final. If someone was born evil, then environment isn’t everything. So, they invented the term sociopath to make themselves feel better.

Actually, there are both Psychopaths and Sociopaths. The psychopath was born broken and can’t be fixed; the sociopaths, as the name implies, are soci-alized to be psych-opath-ic.

The Difference

The sociopath will only tell the truth if doing so does not inconvenience her in any way. If telling a lie will get her what she wants, she does that, and does not feel bad about it. They are not malicious, though; it’s purely a practical matter.

The psychopath, OTOH, finds causing others pain and problems to be meaningless fun; it can also be reinforcing for them. This really gives you a window into just how different (almost… alien) their psychology is.

You know how you enjoy a nice game (or three… or ten) of Tetris? Imagine if you made a move in one of the games, and suddenly the cops arrest you and charge you with some horrible crime. And the TV news and interwebz are all painting you like some kind of horrible person. So now you’re like “WTF?” and you feel unjustly persecuted.

Well, that’s how a psychopath feels when he rapes and murders some cute young girls, and then is arrested and put on trial. He cannot feel he’s done anything wrong, so “you must have done it to yourself.”

The Gender Distribution

You may have noticed that I said “he” when referring to the psychopaths, and “she” when referring to the sociopaths. There are female psychopaths, but the males outnumber them by several times (and the male psychopaths do tend to target women for financial and other crimes). I did not mean to imply that sociopaths are only or even primarily female; there certainly are many male sociopaths. There has, however, been a rise in Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and the increase has been almost entirely in girls / women.

The Obfuscation

The DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders version 4) sweeps both the terms “psychopath” and “sociopath” into the diagnosis “APD” (Antisocial Personality Disorder), thereby confusing the public about what is what and how big a problem it is. Fortunately, we have the good doctors Cleckley, Hare, and Stout to clear things up.

The Books

The classic work on the subject is Mask of Sanity, by American psychiatrist Hervey Cleckely, M.D. Unfortunately, it is out of print, but fortunately, it is free online.

Picking up where Cleckley left off, Canadian Ph.D. psychologist Robert Hare wrote Without Conscience, which is still in print; check your local library or bookstore, or click the title for Amazon. This book is primarily the result of his study of psychopaths in prison.

More recently, he teamed up with industrial psychologist Paul Babiak to create Snakes In Suits, about the corporate-ladder-climbing psychopath.

American Ph.D. psychologist Martha Stout’s The Sociopath Next Door is a great look inside the mind of conscience-less people, for those who just have to understand what they’ve experienced (I know you’re out there).

[Note: Her other books – The Myth of Sanity and The Paranoia Switch are also both good.]

The MBTI

SJ‘s (Conservatives) can feel shame, but are genetically unable to feel compassion. SP‘s (Artisans / Liberals) are like the mirror image of the Conservatives in that regard, able to feel compassion but not shame. The N’s (NT and NF) can feel both shame and compassion.

The Psychopath cannot feel either shame or compassion.

The Incidence

The official estimate of their incidence in the population is one percent. This may be true in civilized countries like Canada, Japan, and Western Europe. I personally think it’s got to be somewhere more like two percent in the U.S.A., because our culture of leaving people to fend for themselves is an environment that selects for exactly those qualities.

Hare says in Without Conscience that they are responsible for up to 50% of all crime.

The Indirect Effect

So, if they are only 1-2% of the population, why did I write a whole chapter on them in a book about attraction, and why should you tell all your friends to read it?

Because most people have not been taught what we know at this point about them, every thought you’ve ever had has been infected in some way, to some degree, with the psychopath’s (illegitimate) point of view. If this is your first exposure to the science of psychopathy, you might start seeing them everywhere, or thinking everyone you know is a psychopath. And you’re right.

Ha ha, just kidding. No, they really are only a couple percent of the population, but because of the lack of awareness about the science that’s been done, their influence is way beyond their numbers. The vast majority – though not actual psychopaths or even sociopaths – are somewhat psychopathic. If you received anything like a decent education, you learned “Species evolve, individuals adapt.” Like Truman (Jim Carrey) in the movie The Truman Show, people just automatically try to fit in to the world they were born into; and you were born into a world run by psychopaths.

You see, as Polish psychologist Andrew Lobacewski (who studied “pathocracy” under both Nazi and Soviet occupations of his homeland) described, psychopaths know they are different, recognize each other, and form networks for mutual protection and advancement.

The Twilight of the Vampires

Vampire = psychopath = defective and inferior.

They are not heroes, they do not have superpowers, and there is no such thing as a good psychopath who fights the bad psychopaths because he loves a girl. The idyllic romance ‘tween Bella and whatz-his-name is the Trojan horse inside which that lie gets smuggled into a generation of girls.

No, they don’t have fangs, or sleep in coffins, or burst into flames in the sunlight. That’s entertainment industry bullshit.

There has been a huge push in recent years for psychopaths and sociopaths, to portray them as just regular fellas (Sopranos), cool and interesting (Mad Men), doing justice – unlike those incompetent cops (Dexter), and even an oppressed minority (True Blood).

Just because they find themselves fascinating doesn’t mean you have to.

The Lying

The Lie is like air to The Evil; without The Lie, The Evil dies. The Truth is like air to The Good; without The Truth, The Good dies. And lying is like breathing to the psychopath: just something he does all day every day, without thinking about it.

It takes 10,000 hours of practice to become a master at something – playing tennis, playing the guitar, sculpture, whatever. Born psychopaths get that much practice lying before becoming adults. Then they go on to become presidents of companies, lobbyists for industries that poison us all, or the elected representatives at all levels of government who protect those businesses instead of protecting the human citizens.

They do not lie to each other; they do not cheat each other; they do not steal from each other; they do not rape, torture, or murder each other. But they see no reason not to do all of those things to us.

If most humans naturally adapt to their environment, what will be the effect of a “Dog Eat Dog” socio-economic system? “Lookin out for Numero Uno” and “I got mine.”

The Specific Lie

They train us to lie to ourselves, because that’s what’s best for them.

There is one lie in particular that they want everyone to believe: that a psychopath is what “a real man” is. They don’t think there’s anything wrong with them. In fact, they view their lack of conscience as a lack of hindrance that makes them superior. The male psychopath sees himself as the way a man should be, and therefore anyone who is not like him (i.e., anyone who has a conscience) is “a pussy.”

This is an insidious lie, because men don’t want anyone – men or women – to think they are pussies. So, they “man up” by becoming psychopathic.

The Appeal of The Bad Boy

(Not all Bad Boys are psychopaths, and not all psychopaths are Bad Boys, but there’s more than a little overlap between the two populations.)

The Bad Boy, by being bad, gives The Good Girl permission to be bad. He’s no doormat. Ohhh, no. He defies society’s conventions. Hell, he ignores society’s conventions. And that’s just so exciting, isn’t it?

The Woman who has never had a fling with a Bad Boy, when she does, she feels alive in a way she never did before. His take-charge / take no shit attitude just seems to activate something so primal in her brain (and by “brain” I mean pussy, he he).

The Package Deal

But with the excitement comes the tears; it’s a two-fer one deal. So, inevitably, our Good Girl laments, “Why can’t I meet a nice guy?”

She doesn’t really want a nice guy; what she wants is a man who can make her feel as much attraction as the Bad Boy, but without the pain and problems. The psychopaths don’t want anyone to know this, but Doormat or Psychopath are not the only two options.

There is a third option…

Copyright (c) 2010 Jeffrey A. Brauer. All rights reserved.

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